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Valentine's Day - A Day to celebrate or a Nightmare to avoid?

Valentine’s Day has always divided the crowd, a bit like Marmite. Some people love it and others hate it. Some people see it as an opportunity to express and celebrate love and others see it as a commercial enterprise designed to make money. Couples can feel smug because they have each other and single people can dread the day because it reminds them they’re on their own.

The thing is though that being in a relationship does not necessarily guarantee you happiness. As human beings we have a tendency to think that the grass is always greener on the other side.


Whichever your preference or feelings towards Valentine’s Day, perhaps the lead up and the day itself could simply be a reminder to take a step back and to reflect on what is going on for you and where you are at in your life.

How are you doing?

How is your relationship going?

Are your needs met?

Do you feel taken for granted or appreciated?

Do you feel comfortable?

Does your partner make you laugh?

Do you have fun together?

Are you happy at work?

Are you taking care of yourself?

Are you celebrating your achievements?

Is your need for social connection met?

How do you feel about being single?


We tend to express our love in a hundred different ways each day and Valentine’s Day is just one of them. There can be a lot of pressure around this day to buy gifts or go for an expensive meal. Social media is filled with photos of surprise get aways and it can make you feel left out or like your partner doesn’t care.

Be mindful. Sure the pictures look great but we all present our best selves on social media and you don’t actually know what is going on for other people or what’s happening in their relationships.


You might want to think about treating yourself, especially if you’re currently single. Don’t just treat yourself on Valentine’s Day though. Celebrating your achievements and your wins is important, no matter how small they are because it helps to build confidence and self esteem.

Remember that there are many ways to be happy and there are many kinds of relationships. Relationships are great but they are no guarantee for happiness. And being single doesn’t make you unlovable and it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you or that you are somehow at a disadvantage.

Throughout our lives we will have many different relationships and experiences, some good, some bad but perhaps the most important one, the one we don’t often think about or prioritise or take care of, is the relationship we have with ourselves.

So maybe this Valentine’s Day reflect on what is going on for you and what you need and give yourself the kindness, compassion and love you deserve!


Here are some ideas that might help you to cope a bit better on Valentine's Day:


Be aware of your feelings - is Valentine’s Day a trigger  for you? If so, what comes up for you? What are you reacting to?


Don’t feel pressured - there can be a lot of pressure around Valentine’s Day. Take a step back and think about what you need and want. Do what feels right for you.


Remember that being in a relationship is no guarantee for happiness


If you’re single it doesn’t mean you’re unlovable - you can have a great life and be happy. There is also nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship.


Take care of yourself - make time for self care and celebrate your achievements and wins, no matter how small - this will have a positive impact on your self esteem and emotional well being



hearts on a blurry background

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